Flackwell Heath vs Ley Hill, 22nd July 2003

Nick Lee

Ley Hill enjoyed an excellent victory over Flackwell Heath, with superb individual performances from Andy "Don Juan" Rennard and Liam O'Neill.  Flackwell, who were shorn of their celebrity look-alikes with a single player's absence accounting for Lord Robert Winston, Bob Carrolgees and Ron Jeremy (all pictured, right side), never really put up much of a fight.

With Coppertone-captain Lown again losing the toss, Hill were inserted on a surprisingly damp track.  The experienced opening pair of Lown and Mark Curtis got off to a steady start, with Curtis in particular playing some attractive strokes.  However, he was out knackered immediately after an all-run four, and Lown followed soon after, again distracted by an antique - this week, the broken finger of the aging Flackwell 'keeper.  This brought to the wicket the in-form pairing of Rennard and Brewer who flayed the Flackwell attack in a partnership of 86, Brewer exhibiting the trademark extra cover six and Rennard dealing severely with all-comers.  Flackwell appeared to have no idea what to do to counter the onslaught, using 8 bowlers to little effect.

Although Brewer perished to a dubious LBW decision for 30, Leadbitter kept up the momentum with an all-midwicket 18, as Rennard moved imperiously into the 90s.  However, on 98 he took aim at the long off boundary, only to pick out the broken-fingered keeper who held a good catch.  In the corresponding fixture last year, Rennard scored 98 not out.  Lee with a fluent, hard-run 28 and Khan, back in the Hill fold after a Far East trip dealing with the twin perils of Stonefish and ladyboys, with 15 pushed the Hill score up to 246 at tea.

Not only did Flackwell have a daunting total to chase, they had the celtic opening pace pairing of O'Neill and McLaughlin to deal with.  O'Neill was inspired by the presence of his fellow Hibernian and a new pair of pants, and took the first 5 wickets to fall in an excellent display, with McLaughlin providing steady support at the other end in the manner of seconds veteran, Keith Richardson. 

At 55 for 7, Flackwell were reeling, but a partnership of 46 restored some pride.  However, the introduction of mystery bowler Khan did the trick as he took two wickets with full tosses.  Any more of this and Spooner will give Monks Risborough's "Lucky" Khan a run for his money, what with living to tell the tale of treading on an Stonefish, waking on a beach surrounded by ladyboys, watching an inside edge hit his off stump but not dislodge a bail and taking two wickets with crap balls.

The inevitable denouement came with the "The Fridge" Thompson quite simply scaring the Flackwell No 11 (position in batting order and age in years) into offering an outside edge, as Hill bagged another 25 points.

Ley Hill: 246 for 6 (Rennard 98, Brewer 30)
Flackwell Heath: 111 all out (O'Neill 6 for 27)

Man of the Match: Once again between Andy Rennard and Liam O'Neill, but the Irishman gets it for a magnificent 6 for 27.

Clown of the Match: The Flackwell tea boy for keeping up a 6 hour barrage of tuneless whistling.  Note for next years game, pick Packet to talk to him to stop the whistling.
 

Click here for the scorecard