Penn Street vs
Ley Hill Thirds, 7th May 2005
Duncan Mallard
A day of landmarks this. A 50th
birthday for Ian Walter who, as a treat, wasn't allowed to play cricket but
instead was entertained by over forty friends and relatives reminding him that
he still had 'a long way to go in this particular innings' and that with the
first fifty out of the way and the celebrations complete it was 'time to knuckle
down for the Century eh Walts ho ho ho.' This was greeted by the man himself
with a party hat and a squeaker. A 35th birthday for Duncan Mallard meant that
he WAS allowed to take part as a special treat, and at the end of play wished
that, like Her Majesty, he had more than one birthday a year. Also a notice of
retirement from Jim Rainey, but since the minutes of a 1974 Ley Hill Committee
meeting also mention the imminent retirement of one James Archibald Ignatius
Rainey, nobody gave this one much credence.
Amongst all this a cricket match took
place in the rather leafy and lovely surroundings of Penn Street. Paul Green
standing in for Walts and Morty (who woke up crocked...beat that!) conceded the
toss even before the flip of the coin. This sets a new low even for the third
eleven, but there was an air of resolve as we took to the field...or at least
the smell of Deep Heat.
Things started swimmingly with new
acquisition Hitesh hitting it off with the openers, one of whom went for the
Leave of The Month Award....and missed. Or rather hit...the ball...onto his own
stumps. Thereafter things turned for the worst with No's 2 and 3 wading into the
attack swiftly taking The Street past the 100 mark before Paul Green struck
twice in as many balls to blunt the Penn (or is it the sword?) Anyhow, with a
limpet like catch at deep long on Dennis McCarthy earned praise from all and
wins a free perm at Alan's Boutique in High Wycombe. Packet's next ball removed
a big hitter by the bails (which is never nice) and he only just missed out on a
hat trick when the ball was swept away for two runs. New batsmen, new danger
with a hefty Scottish chap lofting a few over the infield, and a hirsute student
type lofting a few over the encroaching woodland. Cometh the hour, cometh Big
Nige. The Hill was awesome taking two wickets at a rock bottom price to bring
the run rate back down to less than five an over and at the end of 40 overs,
Penn Street had amassed 231 for 5. Special mention here goes to Joel Newell
who's varied deliveries should have earned him a wicket or two. Harvey and
Dennis also banged away without reward, nothing new there then but at least
Harves has a few years ahead of him.
In the penthouse changing apartment,
Packet (right) surveyed his troops and realised that what he was dealing with was a huge
middle with a small head and tail, or tortoise as he called it. After cajoling
and bribery failed, 'Lucky' Terry Rothwell and Joel 'USA' Newell were sent out
to open. Thereafter self destruction ensued. On a beautiful batting strip and
with the sun shining Terry slugged one to mid on. 'I'm mad with meself' said the
greying Northerner, 'I should have had a hatful'. He'd certainly had a skinful
by the time he umpired later on. Rothwell, out for 9. Newell struck the ball
hard and sure for his 29 and then a handful of wickets fell unwatched by your
reporter who was busy getting runs of his own in the Gents at The Squirrel. When
he emerged Newell, Goddard and Mash had all come and gone. Tim Kaye was now at
the crease and lofting balls over the infield for a redoubtable score before he
too fell, a victim of naked aggression. It seemed that The Hill were
operating a 'buy one get one free' policy with their wickets which were coming
along as frequently as the buses that rumbled along the boundary's edge. Mallard
and Hill made sure that the Glorious Thirds took the attack to the opposition
taking the score past the hundred; but Nige played down the wrong line to a
straight one having held up one end, and Mallard drove one straight to mid off
to end a brief but effective cameo finishing on 39. Rainey and Packet continued
the fight but it was all in vain as the Thirds crept to 121 all out, but were
comforted by A Jug from The Street. Very nice.
Terry Rothwell got into a couple of
fights as umpire with dissenting bowlers and has been banned from Penn Street
'until his veins look more normal' said their Skipper. A game with many
positives if we can bat more obdurately and beef up the bowling attack. 50 year
old Ian Walter has much to ponder. Up the Hill!
Penn Street: 231 for 5 (Hill 2
for 25, Green 2 for 42)
Ley Hill: 121 all out (Mallard 39, Newell 23)
Penn Street won by 110 runs
Click here for the scorecard