Everyone knew that when Kenton returned to play Ley Hill 3rds after their thrashing at Bellingdon at the beginning of the month they would be looking for revenge. The quick-witted players made their excuses, concussion from a previous game meant they could not remember how to hold a bat or they had mortgaged the house to buy a season ticket for Arsenal and could not afford to miss a game. That left those too old to make excuses, including Jim Rainey, 146, still carrying an injury after playing international football in Kosovo. and those too young to be nervous. Ley Hill’s Ancient and Moderns. The team ranged from 14 to 75 with no one between 17 and 57.

Following in the footsteps of Michael Vaughan and Paul Collingwood the captain lost the toss, and there the similarity ends, all useless tossers! Kenton decided to bat.

On a pitch that could be sponsored by Slumberland, Ley Hill bowlers toiled. Terry Rothwell,105 bowled tirelessly from one end whilst Asquith and Wallis bowled tightly at the other end, but with no help from the wicket and Terry’s Zimmer frame sinking in the mud, the batsmen had booked in for the weekend. Even Jim’s incessant sledging from behind the stumps, questioning the batsman’s parentage, ability and sexuality was not having its usual effect.

Terry, after using all the experience of a man who had once bowled WG Grace with a googly, decided to go back to basics, and remembering the 3rd team motto, Crap balls get wickets, had the opener caught on the boundary.

Ley Hill continued to battle in the hot sun with no reward, the aging and experienced Rothwell using every trick he knows to no avail. Then he remembered a game he had played under the captaincy of Douglas Jardine!  He decided upon the psychological approach and started meticulously rearranging his field, then after one and a half hours, he bowls, the batsman who is fast asleep, awakens and, taken by surprise, prods at the ball and is caught!

With half an hour’s play left Kenton were 130 for 4, Ian Peplow 123, was brought on at the other end to try and keep Kenton below 150. Putting every ball on the spot, except the first one which went for 4, Peplow tied the batsmen in knots, he’s not known as The King of Spin for nothing, in fact he’s not known as the King of Spin at all, that’s Ashley Giles. Finally, Ley Hill were saved by Tea and needing 154 to win.

During the tea break the wicket changed completely and became a bowler’s paradise, Ley Hill struggled to get bat on ball with only Alex Humphrey offering any opposition to the bowlers. Kenton tried to help Ley Hill make a game of it by closing their eyes when taking catches and fielding with their hands in their pockets but Ley Hill refused to accept charity. However, they managed a moral victory by getting the winning margin down to double figures.