THE PAUL HUMPHREYS INTERVIEW

LHCC; Hi Paul, let me start by saying how surprised we were when you volunteered for this assignment.

PH; VOLUNTEERED! That b$*&"?<d chairman told me I HAD to go or the real video of my wedding would be on 'You Tube' before Jim Rainey could rip his shirt off!

LHCC; Are you saying there was a conspiracy then?

PH; I believe it had something to do with that Nick Lee bloke and a plot to play 2nd Team cricket.

LHCC; I can't believe there's any truth in that, do you have any proof?

PH; I do. Well I did to be more exact. After rooting around in the Lee's & Carr's dustbins I had copies of e-mails, receipts for 5* hotels, delivery notes from Odd-bins......

LHCC; Nothing out of the ordinary there then.

PH; Well I thought there was and so did they because it all went missing when the removal men collected our effects for shipping. I thought some of them looked familiar and when did P.Greens start doing removals in white vans?

LHCC; Paul we see you here arriving at the airport, did you realise the media would be so interested in your move?

PH; It's that b*&<$£dy chairman again. He sent a press release to the Examiner and look what happened.

LHCC; How will you introduce the American people to our hallowed game.

PH; I've no f&^@>g idea!

LHCC; Your last visit to the club saw a vocal onslaught directed at a visiting team's umpire. Were to put up to it or did you really feel that strongly about some of his decisions, which video evidence later proved to be all correct?

PH; I firmly believe that someone slipped a truth drug into my eleventh pint. Video evidence? Who are you kidding? The tight fisted committee won't even buy the club an electronic score board, never mind video evidence!

LHCC; Will you have time to finish your book in America?

PH; Book? What book? I think you're loosing it!

LHCC; Reports in the press indicate that you've hit it off with the rich and famous and you're living the high life!

PH; I've no idea what you mean?

LHCC; Can you ever see Serena and yourself returning to the UK?

PH; Just as soon as I get the proof I need and the services of a good lawyer, I'll be back to nail those responsible for this farce. They know who they are. Be afraid guys!