Colts’ Parents and Their Beer

Previously at Looser Balls we have looked at colts and their beer. We now examine the drinking abilities of colts’ parents.
 

David Viney: 1/10 Quite simply a lightweight. Probably has to get up early each morning to give sons extra cricket practice.

Ian Walter: 2/10 Rare appearances suggest promise, but loses marks for drinking white wine. This is not the Chelsea Nomads, Ian.

Dave Peterson: 5/10 Dangerous when under the influence: could start a fight in an empty house. Nowadays can bowl a pint with more menace than he can a cricket ball.

Richard Morris: 5/10 Unknown quantity, but surely that sunny disposition and dodgy tonsure can only be alcohol-induced?

Jane Hanley: 7/10 Good time girl, let down only by innuendo and a tendency to take ‘saucy’ photos when under the influence. (Some club members known to regard these attributes as strengths.)

Nigel Hill: 7/10 Excellent debut season from this enthusiastic performer. Looser Balls impressed by Hill’s suggestion of tequila cocktails. But are those trousers or shorts?

Nick Lee: 8/10 This top-rate wicket keeper (pictured) has built a sound pedigree as a heavy drinker of 6X. But his bairns have tamed him, and Nick is now very much a family man - with beer portions to match.

Terry Gillott: 9/10 Any excuse to get out for a beer…

Graham Harrison: 10/10 Undisputed King of the Dads. A bad influence on all around him, you’re guaranteed not to get home sober, or on time. The Liam O’Neill of Dads.